BACK TO BLACK

Well, brown. I'm talking hair; the blonde took it's toll on my poor follicles and I had to get it covered with a brown semi or get it all cut off....I don't do short hair so brown it is.

I'm still hitting the gym, 6 times a week (yes that's 6) and am starting feel 'gym guilt' if I miss a session, so you might say I'm obsessed. My husbands coming with me so we're joint in our quest for bodies worth of display on the Venice Beach boardwalk.

Dad had a rough few weeks till he ended up in hospital again, they discovered he's got some fluid in his arteries making him breathless. They've given him some (more) tablets for this and they seem to be working, apart from the other day when he lost it with one of his THREE mobile phones, smashing it on the floor resulting in chest pains. He took his little spray and the pains went, what is it they say about hypertension again???

Nick's doing okay; he's back at work 2 days a week and just waiting to hear about the 2 donors to see if they're still alive and healthy. One's German and the other is a Czech, that's all we know.

Me and my husband had an arguement last night, not really about anything, I was just quiet and tired but it seemed this was enough. It's my birthday tomorrow and I've booked a family meal, he's sent me a text saying he's not coming: GREAT. We set off to Malham tomorrow camping in Bess for 2 days, if he pulls out I'm determined to still go...Malham anyone?

Oh, I caught up with Julie (old college mate), I met her for a few hours for a walk round Bretton and me and my husband went to her house in Haworth for a night out on the RAZZ in Bronte Country. It was good, her partner was the king of the storytellers, he's been to the States and Central America, sailed boats over the seas...he's done a lot so it was anecdote city. Just got a text ....oh it's just Paul, wonder if my husbands changed his mind about the meal tonight?

CATCH UP

Ok, I know it's been ages but just to update:

Dad's doing okay although having some anxiety on a night time.

Mum's coming off her anxiety meds, this is a slow process as she can't just stop taking them.

Nick's leukemia is in remission but the doctor's told him he needs a bone marrow transplant as the leukemia will just keep coming back.  They've found two possible matches: Paul & I weren't a match so needless to say we were gutted as siblings are the best choice.

I eventually made contact with Julie (ex-college mate) via e-mail and a phone call (holy shit) after she gave me her e-mail address last May.  It's been good being in contact with her...more later on this.

Jason & I are taking the kids to Cornwall for a few days in May then we're going to LA/Vegas in mid September for a couple of weeks...then Scotland for New Years...followed by Berlin April/May next year: I will get my two holidays a year damn it.  Oooo and I'm blonde now...........

         

Is there anybody out there? Pt 2

I realised last night that since the Bryn/Becky/Claire fallout I have 3 friends that I can call my own: Rachel and Emma and Duncan. Rachel and Emma have young children so they pretty much have their own lifes and their priorities are different now. Duncan I must admit I haven't been in touch with properly for a good few months but he hasn't been in contact with me either; I mean Milque and Lusk were our common threads, we would put the world to rights and dicuss the bands all night but these bands have gone now and well, I'm not sure that we'd miss each other a hell of a lot if we didn't hear from each other ever again (and I'm not being disrespectful here).

So, I guess what I'm saying is I sometimes feel like that awkward teenager again, the one who didn't really have any mates but just knew people she went to school with/lived on the same street as. I found Jamie Baine on FB, you know from college, I've had some contact with him via text so I sent him a friend request and added a message asking how his holiday was....he accepted the request but didn't reply to my question. I sent a second message to Colin after he replied to me but haven't heard anything from him either. I'm sure if Jason was reading this he'd say, "why do you feel the need to contact people who don't bother with you?", how would I answer him? I'm not sure why I try and contact people instead of holding out to see if they bother with me; I think friendships are important I guess, having Jason as a husband is different to having friends, not less important but I suppose if you have friends then you must be decent, interesting person right?....right???

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Yes, it's true...there's snow in the UK, I know..crazy and here's the proof people:

All the news channels are twatting on about it but Jason and I both got to finish work early so I can deal with the relentless media drivel.  I plonked Maude and Margo on the window ledge so they could witness this historic event; they looked reasonably interested.  By the way we bought these Bengal kittens a few weeks ago from a cattery in beautiful Barnsley.  Maude is lovely, she's the white one that I picked, Margo has ADHD and will attack you without hesitation...Jason picked her. They're both ummm, very 'active' and love pulling all the laundry from the clothes horse till it falls down...all night.  Cats are supposed to be relaxing but apparently not these two.    


Dad got admitted to hospital again a few days ago, he had a bit of a pain in his chest but he's okay, just getting cabin fever from being in hospital waiting for a treadmill so he can have a fitness test.  V's house got broken into on Friday night while they were out, they made a "right mess" but I don't know what was taken.  The kids were here as usual, J wants to stay here for half term (so he told my mum) and said he wishes V hadn't married D as he doesn't really show any interest in them (no surprise there then).  

Nick's doing ok with the chemo, he wont loose his hair and the only side effect so far has been a rash; we're going for a meal this Saturday for his birthday.  Not seen anyone for a while and I sent Colin a reply to his message...we'll see if he's interested in replying.  Apart from that my only company are the cats, my husband and my family...shouldn't moan really.  

FIGHT, FIGHT,FIGHT.

Last night we watched the Affliction 'Day of Reckoning' flight with Fedor vs Arlovski.  Fedor won in the first round knocking out the lady's favorite Arlovski nicely. this is how it ended......... 

Fedor is the stuff of legends.....and he wears tight fight pants.

Is there anybody out there?

I'm realising that Facebook has made me feel more alienated from people than ever, I mean I get people adding me as 'friend' then when I send them a message asking how they are blah, blah, blah they just don't bother replying.  Maybe they just want to nosy round my profile & see some pictures (I'm private) then once they've seen what they want their curiosity's satisfied.

I've still not heard back from Dawn and I don't intend on chasing her up, I shouldn't have to right? I sent a message to Claire too, thought I'd make her feel uncomfortable by being nice and asking how she was: she didn't get back to me again, I thought I'd just 'delete' her but felt I'd get some sense of satisfaction knowing she could see what was going on in my world....she can't forget about me or ignore me, Facebook wont allow her to.  

I did hear back from Colin though.  A long message, very Colinesque, he's been on medication for most of the last 10 years and I think still works for Romec.   I'm surprised he replied when I asked him how he was but there you go.  This is the band we used to be in, Colin's the guy in the white t-shirt, I think the picture was taken in 1997/98.........        

EIGHTY SIX

So my dad's still in Pinderfields, mum & Paul saw him today & he told the nurse he was doing pretty well so er....."I can go home right?".  The ward sister told him he'd better listen up because they'd taken a blood test to check out the level of scarring damage, he'd got a level of 86 out of 100; the highest they've come across for a survivor.  She told him he's got to take it easy for 4 months for the scarring to repair; he was listening so let's see how much advice he takes.

Not heard anything from Nick but he's having his heart and lungs checked out tomorrow, he starts his chemo next Monday for 3 days a week for 18 weeks.  Paul and I find out in about 3 weeks if we're a potential match for bone marrow till then I can't really plan ahead beyond May.

Still not heard anything from Dawn to my 2....that's 2 Facebook messages; it's so strange she wouldn't ignore me but I can't keep sending messages; I'll just wait and see if I hear anything.  I sent Colin Milque a message but he blew me out on My Space so chances are he may do the same on Facebook even though he comes across as being pretty communitative with people.

Israel are fucking up in Gaza again, they bombed the UN headquarters: nice one lads.  

A passenger plane landed in the Hudson River in NYC with 153 people onboard, it's -6 over there  today, I think everyone survived.  Sky News are saying,  "some birds are responsible" hilarious.

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Ear plugs and pit boots.

Saw dad this evening at Pinderfields, he had a "good night" last night at LGI and they moved him to Pinderfields this morning.

He seems fine, he's tired but starting moaning which can only be a good sign.  He says it's too noisy on the ward, "people come here to recuperate, how can they do that when there's a woman walking up and down the ward sounding like she's got bloody pit boots on"; we brought him some earplugs although everyone else on the ward may need them after they suffer one night of dads snoring. He might be discharged Saturday or Sunday.

Jason managed to go to E's option night at school, E told her mum she wanted to go just with Jason but her mum wanted to go too, E added that she did not want D to go....oh yes, he was asked by mum to attend with her....dumb and dumber.

Today we were told Barclays are axing 4200 jobs and Jaguar Land Rover are cutting 450 people.  Over 1000 people have been killed in Gaza and Patrick McGoohan has died, he was 80.

Welcome to your life.

Dad & baby Nick.......

In line with everything else that's happened in the last 8 months last night brought about another "I can't believe this is happening" moment. At 8:30 last night Jason came into the bedroom saying he was taking my dad to A&E with chest pains; my mum had phoned asking him if he'd pick him up. So carrying on drying my hair I'm thinking, "Christ, what now".

Jason phones me back about 10 minutes later saying, "I think you'd better come to A&E, I'm picking you up". In the van Jason told me he thinks my dad's having a heart attack, my mum was with them and he's dropped them off at A&E. I phone Paul who tells me he's already at the hospital, Nick hasn't been told anything.

Jason and I get to A&E; I see my mum and Paul in the waiting area. Dad's been taken to the resuscitation and they wouldn't let mum go in with him; "I can't believe it, I thought 2009 would bring us some luck", she says. We wait for about an hour till mum gets summoned in on her own; eventually the rest of us get called in by mum.

My dad is laid upright on a bed with wires coming out all over the place, his skin is slick with sweat and a pale waxy colour; he's got an oxygen mask over his mouth and blood on the sheet where they've inserted his IV.  I can't help but stare at the machine showing his heart rate and blood pressure terrified he would give one final, gravelled moan then flatline.  I couldn't cry, I felt kind of numb and took his hand.  He looked weak and said in a quiet, hoarse voice, "I'm not good mate, I'm in a bad way, I'm not good".

I asked the nurse if they could give him more for the pain but she said they've already given him as much morphine as they can; they could give him some more tablets but they'd have to wait 15 minutes for the morphine to kick in.   On the nurses advice we took off his trousers, shoes and socks to make him more comfy then they told us he needs to be transferred to LGI for a procedure that'll involve inserting a wire through his groin to his heart, they'll insert a balloon with a wire mesh over it and insert this in the valve opening it up and removing the clot.

LGI is the only place that does this so the ambulance came for dad to take him away while we went back to mum's to get some shit together for his stay in hospital.

We eventually made it to LGI and after waiting in an 'interview room' for ages a nurse came to tell us the procedure with my dad was underway.  She took a tonne of info from my mum and we left for a coffee.  When we came back to the ward dad was back from theatre and we got to see him.

His eyes were open and had some colour in his face again, he looked way better and he declared, "no more bloody bacon butties"....words from the wise dad.  After a few minutes we left him to get some rest then made our way home.

Jason was a trooper, he drove us all to and from LGI and oh....did I forget to say Carole Robinson came?  Jason (he's met her before) dropped her off home too; when she got out of the van mum said, "no wonder he's had a heart attack".